


Hold Me

by Kaylacakes



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Eremika - Freeform, Eren Is a Little Shit, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Major Character Injury, mikasa is an angel, they both deserve better
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-06
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-03-01 02:10:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13284708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaylacakes/pseuds/Kaylacakes
Summary: Mikasa is given an opportunity to go on a mission as the leader of her own squad, but Eren doesn't think she's able to handle it. ComfortingErenxDistressedMikasa !!





	Hold Me

 A cloud hung over Mikasa's mind, along with a searing pain that manifested itself every time she moved.She slowly raised her head, at first a low bob, and then a full 2-inch lift, and finally her whole head rose with lips parted. Her field of vision looked like the embodiment of slurred speech; it was like looking through a vaseline-smeared windshield. The movement of her chest heaving with every spew of blood from her lungs was all the feeling her weak body could register. 

 

Weak... For the first time in a decade, she felt weak. 

 

 Why? 

 

Sore wrists, buckled knees, a raging headache, and a pulsating hurt on her left cheek.

 

This is odd, she thought. My body has reached its limit. Why? Where was she? Where was her squad?

 

Where was Eren?

 

The memories of that day's events came back slowly, but surely.She was with her squad that morning, it was a special expedition; Mikasa's first as a squad leader. The handpicked members were Eren, Armin, Jean, Sasha, and Connie; not too far behind them followed the supervisory trail of Commander Erwin, Captain Levi, and Captain Hanji Zoe.

 

When Captain Levi first proposed the task of arresting a group of sex traffickers to Mikasa's Squad, Eren had made the decision of not allowing Mikasa to accept. 

 

All those years ago he had saved her from those monsters; he dreaded the thought of him having to do it again if something went south.

 

Before he could protest even more, Mikasa told her Captain that she would gladly take on the mission. Mikasa's posse cleared the room and quiet murmurs about the upcoming expedition filled the hallways. 

"Oooooh, Jaeger's pissed." Connie snickered to the group of soldiers. Jean turned on his heels, steam coming out of his ears, "Mikasa can make her own decisions. I don't know why she keeps him around if all he does is be nosy.He acts like he god damn owns her."Sasha and Connie looked at each other and burst out into laughter before telling Jean that he's full of shit. "I'm not done with him yet. Where the hell is he?" Jean growled at the two teens. Meanwhile, Eren was hot on his Mikasa's heels as she turned the corner towards her quarters.

 

"What the hell, Mikasa?" he snapped at her after locking the door behind them. They were alone in her room, again. Arguing over her safety and well being,  **again.** "What's wrong now Eren?" she said to him, removing the scarf he gave her and placing it on her pillow. The green-eyed teen looked at her in disbelief, "You know exactly what I'm talking about. What makes you think it would be okay to accept a mission like this?" Eren growled, crossing his arms. Mikasa shifted in her seat, the anger inside of her bubbling, ready to spill over; since when does he care what decision she makes? He was the one always going into things without using his god damn brain. Eren had no place to tell her what to do, and so what if her nightmares had been coming back? That had no bearing on her ability to lead, and she could certainly do it better than that brat. Mikasa's patience was running thin after the boy oh-so-audaciously lectured her on the importance of safety. Finally, she had enough; and as expected, she responded calmly and quietly.

"I will be fine. I am strong, I have the skills of the whole squad combined. Do not underestimate me."

"You aren't invincible Mikasa, you're  **HUMAN.**  These nightmares should have been a sign that you aren't ready to face whoever is out there." His words became gentle and comforting; the feeling of his hand gently placed on her thigh. as much as she wanted to break his wrist at that moment, she couldn't help but feel so warm. Looking over at him, meeting his worried gaze; someone cared about _her_ for once, her feelings towards him weren't just one way anymore. She looked down and watched as her previously clenched fist relaxed under his touch. He felt her block him out, again, as she stood up, back turned towards him. Mikasa wanted more than anything to share this intimacy with him, but she shouldn't; she didn't know how, and it ate her up inside.

Mikasa felt her breathing become heavy and uncontrolled, "I know what I'm doing." 

Eren began to raise his volume, the frustration apparent in his voice. "No, you don't. You don't remember what I did to help you, you don't remember what it was like seeing you on the ground ready to die, you don't know what it was like-" Eren held his tongue after he so stupidly let those words slip, his worry filled mouth had gotten the best of him.

And like a twig she snapped, bringing out the rage built up in her soul. For so long she held her tongue, for so long she let others (especially him) speak while disregarding her own opinions. Mikasa turned on her heels and glared at the boy with her charcoal eyes. "I don't know what its like, Eren? I don't know what its like to be in a situation like that? I LIVED IT, asshole. I watched my mother try and save me with a pair of god damn scissors against an ax-wielding man. I was beaten and tied up to be sold off as a fucking sex slave, and I don't know what it's like?" Tears fell from her eyes now, and every step he took she matched with one in the opposite direction.

"Mika I'm so sorry...That's not how I meant it-"

"I can't believe you. Get the hell out."

And with that, he gave her a tired look with those deep, deep orbs and left her to be alone. 

 

So... she wasn't dead; her vision was slowly clearing, and the muffled screams were becoming more audible by the second. What were they screaming? Why did her knees hurt so damn much? Oh, she was kneeling and her hands were tied behind her; that's why her wrists were sore. She was so tired, all she wanted was to drift away and sleep; but if Eren had taught her anything it was that she had to fight to live. So she raised her head and focused all of what little energy she had left into being fully aware of her surroundings. 

 

Mikasa knew she was bound and gagged due to the spit forming at the corners of her mouth and the stinging of rough rope grazing her skin. She was in a barn or some other disgusting building, and her comrades were conveniently in a line in front of her. The information didn't exactly process right away, her squad o their knees with wide eyes like they were expecting her to help. It's like those tear-filled orbs were just asking to be saved, and she couldn't do it; for once Mikasa couldn't save them. It wasn't just the fact that they were helpless, it's that if she couldn't save them, she couldn't save herself. 

Despite the immense pain Mikasa was in, despite all the mental fuzziness and the emotional turmoil, she had a moment of clarity, and in that moment a titanic weight fell upon her. The image of Sasha being gutted like a fish was forever ingrained in her memory. A dark figure stuck the blade into her side and dragged it from left to right, the blood misted into the air and landed on the concrete in front of her. Sasha's scream wasn't even the part that shook Mikasa's entire being; it was what came out of the gaping wound. All the alarms in the black haired teen's brain were going off, one by one disturbing the sleeping weakling that rested inside her mental vault, threatening to break the fortified dam she spent her entire life building up. Mikasa channeled the hurt, the grief, the overwhelming anxiety, she took all of it and made turned it into control; enough control to gaze at the person who just murdered her comrade. The tall, slightly buff man stood over the corpse, not the slightest amount of remorse appeared on his expression. He was still for a second, and in an instant, he placed his huge hand on her limp head and grabbed a fistful of Sasha's hair. With surprising strength, he lifted her body and showcased it to the line of crying soldiers, and then to Mikasa. Mikasa was frozen in place, her throat as bunched up like the rope around her wrists and her bottom lip trembled like Eren's. A look of horror crept onto the teen's face as the beast dropped the body and made his way towards her. Mikasa had felt all of her energy, all of her will to fight for her life had dissipated with Sasha's last breath. Every heavy step that fell to the ground sent shivers through Mikasa's body. He reached for her black, medium-length locks and pulled them back, exposing her tense neck. Mikasa darted her empty eyes to the side to meet his gaze; the feeling of the cold, blood covered blade gently caressing her cheek barely phasing her. 

"And what's your name, doll?"

 

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thank you so much for reading my first work; I noticed a lack of angsty and comfort- type works so I decided to write one of my own! Comments and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated!! edit; I won't start working on a second part unless someone comments!


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